The year is 2014. We had just moved from Ontario to Alberta. It wasn’t the first big move that we had made as a family. We were used to moving. We probably did it more than anyone that I have known before but this move was one of the two BIGGEST moves that we had ever made.
We were moving thousands of miles away from the family that my children had grown up around. We were moving thousands of miles away from the only friends that my children had known. We were moving thousands of miles away from my family who was already hundreds of miles away. As a family, we knew that it was the step that we needed to take. I never imagined the impact that this single move would have on us.
I remember Quinton being terrified of moving. He didn’t want to leave his friends that he has known since starting school. An amazing group of friends surrounded him. He had grown up with these boys since he started kindergarten at the age of 3.
One night, we sat down, and he told me that he didn’t want to move. He was going to know no one and he just didn’t want to leave his friends. I am so glad that words didn’t fail me during this conversation as sometimes they do. I remember telling him that this was his chance to begin again. He could reinvent himself and be whoever he wanted to be. No one knew who he was and it gave him a chance to be anyone.
I am not really sure how his 6-year-old brain interpreted the conversation but our move went as well as can be expected.
Once we finally got settled in and the kids were in a routine with school, it occurred to me that I could also reinvent myself. For so many years, I had hated who I was. I am not even sure if that is the right way to put it. I hadn’t known who I was for so long that I felt like I was ONLY mom.
I remember when Quinton was born. I thought that as a result, the void inside of me would be filled. That his birth would make me feel like a woman again. It did for a while but then that void came back and it was bigger than ever.
I hated everything about myself. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without thinking about all the negative thoughts. I couldn’t let my husband see me naked because of hating myself so much. The hatred inside affected every aspect of my life.
I believe that in life we have all made choices based on how we feel about ourselves. I had hidden for so long that who I was was hidden so far beneath the surface that I couldn’t find her.
Blogging was sold to me as an online journal. A way for me to get my words out without anyone reading them. My sister in law suggested I try it. I had never considered blogging before this point. It took me a couple of months before I just decided to do it.
Like a typical beginner, I had NO idea what to do. Blogging was something that had never crossed my mind before so I just began. I created a blog on Blogger because it was a free platform that I could use. I remember the name of the blog being, The Original Samantha.
It is funny that as I look back throughout my years of blogging and self-care. I realize that I was so desperately trying to get back to the 17-year-old version of myself. The version before the sexual assault. The ONLY version of me that I approved of. The ONLY version of me that I didn’t have an extreme hatred for.
And so my blogging journey began. It began with a post about my past. I shared my story of sexual assault and it felt good and scary. I could feel the change within immediately. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen but I knew that it couldn’t be worse than how I was already feeling.
I remember sharing it in a Facebook group that I was in. It was just a mom’s group. I didn’t have a business. I just had a blog and a story and that is when it began. Messages began to flow in. Messages from women who were thanking me.
I was hooked. I had found a way to share pieces of me that were hurting and damaged while making an impact on the community of women around me. A community of women that I NEVER knew even existed until the moment the first message came in.
I shared my self-love journey. I shared the moments when my life was falling apart. I shared the moments when I couldn’t get out of bed or take care of myself. I shared the moments of happiness when life finally felt like I was getting something right. I shared every piece of me that allowed other women to connect with me and say, I understand you. There is nothing more powerful than that.
YouTube saved me when I was a beginner blogger but it also took MANY MANY hours away from what I really wanted to do which was to just write content. I blogged for years, learning as much as I could about it to help me with my own blog.
From becoming an entrepreneur to the changes I made to my business, blogging was always there for me. Blogging was just a piece of me and I didn’t think anything more of it. I was known as a blogger. It didn’t really hit me until I was doing a podcast interview and the woman called me the first blogging expert that she had talked to.
Something I never considered myself to be and honestly, having someone else point that out terrified me. I felt like now all of these eyes were on me.
I didn’t plan to make money from my blogging. Honestly, I have had multiple tries at being an entrepreneur and none of them ever seemed to work. From starting a cloth diaper service to signing up for MLM to coaching women to find self-love to creating a subscription box. Blogging saw me through it all and grew with me.
Becoming a blogging coach was a step in my journey that I never saw coming. I was listening to a podcast the other day and they were talking about dharma. Check out the link because it is so awesome to learn about. She was talking about accidental dharma and I think that is what my becoming a blogging coach was.
It was accidentally finding out what I am truly meant to do with my life. Blogging has brought me so much healing, so much growth and so many amazing connections that I can’t begin to imagine what my life would be like without me doing it. I would be lying if I said there were days I didn’t want to walk away. I have had those moments when it all seems to be too much.
And then I just can’t imagine not opening up my computer and writing a blog post and teaching women to write their very own blog. Blogging has become such a big piece of who I am that there is no getting rid of it.
The journey that blogging has taken me on has been winding and overwhelming but it has also been rewarding and so incredibly beneficial to who I am and who I am becoming. Without blogging, I am not sure if I would have been brave enough to share my story. Without blogging, I am not sure I would have had the support system needed to help heal myself.
Without blogging, I wouldn’t be the Samantha that I am today. That is my blogging story. Are you ready to create your very own blogging story?